Oh what fun I've been having. Customers are making my life miserable. And why is that, you ask?
Because they're idiots and cockmonglers.
Some choice examples of cockmonglery:
The woman who, after hearing our automated question about our Halloween Treat Sheets (8 bucks worth of stuff for $1), asked in the bitchiest tone possible, "How long are you going to keep asking me that?"
The assflap who comes by pretty much every day, orders a sandwich and a drink, and adds re the drink, in the most annoyingly superior tone, "and I'm a senior". Order a freakin' SENIOR DRINK, then.
The guy who, after being asked the Treat Sheet question, said, "I have no idea what you're talking about." Gee, that reflects worse upon you than us, you know.
And idiots? Oh, today, there were many. See, we ran completely out of Original Chicken patties before I came to work today. Our general manager, in a fit of brilliance, decided to suggest substituting Tendercrisp for OC in all cases, even in the case of the Italian Chicken Sandwich. Now, for those unaware, a Tendercrisp takes SIX MINUTES to make. Six minutes from cooler to warming pan. Six minutes we don't have when there's a line. And using twice as many makes things worse.
But thw worst part was one woman who, after ordering an Italian chicken and being told we had no Original Chicken, proceeded to order a #9.
An Original Chicken sandwich.
AAAAAAARH KAORU-STYLE RAGE WHAT DID YOU JUST FREAKING SAY?!
But it's all worth it to get entertaining customers. The best example of entertaining customers? Some older woman who came by last Sunday (I think it was Sunday) and ordered, and I quote, "A Jr. Whopper with no sour cream."
We don't even have sour cream anywhere in our store. Anywhere. I assumed she meant "no mayo", so I left the mayo off. And she didn't come back.
I must be adept at reading the minds of crazy old people who, to paraphrase Professor Membrane, like to order INSANE THINGS!